Thursday, September 13, 2012

Limitations!!!

LIMITATIONS!
How many times have you heard people around you saying.., “That’s your limit”,  “You cannot do that” , “That’s impossible”.
 
You must have heard it in the schools when an average student makes an attempt to score better, You must have heard it from parents whose kids are chasing the dream to become a sportsmen and You must have heard it from a friend with whom you share the next big thing you plan to do. 
 
When was the last time you heard something like this and how did you react? You possibly have chosen one of the following reactions:
 
1)      Accepted and said yes whatever others say is right
2)      Argued to get suppressed and did nothing about it
3)      Challenged it and said -  I am going to try it anyway
 
When you choose to accept or argue and do nothing about it you set ourselves a lower standard and a limitation. You create an invisible box around you, one which defines your horizon. Things within this box seem within reach, achievable, see-able, touchable, believable, feasible, possible. Outside this box is a region beyond our wildest imagination. They seem thing which are beyond reach. You don't even think about it.
 
The whole idea of limitations is something a human came up with as an excuse. You do not reach the finish line and give excuses. Most of such limitations are self-imposed, restrictions you place that stop you from taking further action and turning your dreams into reality.
 
Is there some universal power which holds you back? Or Is there something which controls you from being able to perform to your potential? 
 
Yes, it is the FEAR within you.
 
Once you realize that it is YOU who set limitations, you need to understand that you can be the only one who can challenge it.
 
Both FEAR and limitations reside in your thoughts! It is not the thoughts but it is what you believe that clinches you. You need to watch your thoughts before they become your belief. Nobody can impose any beliefs on you.
 
I recollect something which I read a few days back about Rhinos.., 
 
The collective noun for a group of rhinos is a crash. It’s a vivid description of a group of formidable mammals that are usually docile, but have enormous potential to cause carnage. The white rhinoceros can weigh up to 3,500 kg and its front horn can reach 150 cm in length.
Their bulk doesn’t hold them back though, as rhinos can run at a speed of 56 kph, as fast as a galloping horse.  To put that in context, the world’s fastest man, Usain Bolt, runs at approximately 38 kph.
Such size and speed is scary, but their eyesight is so poor than an immobile person is undetectable to a rhino from a distance of only 30 meters. No wonder they call a group of them crashes.
Imagine half a dozen 3 ton rhinos with massive horns running at over 50 kph, but that can’t see more than 30 meters in front of them?

Get out of their way or… crash!

That’s what happens when latent potential turns into incredible power without worrying too far ahead. Why can’t we be more like that? Why do we look too far into the future and refuse to take action before we believe that everything is guaranteed to work perfectly? Why do we fear what problems we could run into if we take action, rather than fear not doing anything and set limitations.

Why do we have the potential to change the world, but not use it?              

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson.
 
Go Challenge ONE limitation you have set today! Your heart is free!! Have the COURAGE to follow it!
 
 
- Sharat Sharma

Friday, July 27, 2012

Directive Communication - Day 6


Another wonderful day and more fulfilled the journey becomes.

Have you ever thought what happens to the new employee who has just joined your organization and not been allowed to participate in meetings? Little did you know that as a team player he was always driven by the emotion of being responsible/ contribution and today you have created an environment where his primary emotional need is left unfulfilled? You have need sucked him. Before you realize, his performance levels have dipped or the new employee has already decided to move on and take his services else were.

Such instances are very common in many organizations. The organizations seldom realize the aspect of managing the emotional currency.

Understanding our won brain colour and the 3 primary emotional drivers were very well depicted by the first activity - Human Driver Challenge. This actually brought out various emotional drives we experience in our each day transactions and how it enhances the team productivity.

The second activity for the day was managing emotional currency. Wow!! Another game which gave me a lot of insights of how employees can underperform or over perform beyond their capabilities just when you acknowledge their emotions.

Today, I actually applied the learning I have had with real people around me. I enjoyed the spark in the eyes of people who were amused to know their brain colour processing by picking up 5 cards from CBC. I had the privilege of helping a couple which was planning to date in the future by letting them know their individual colours and their way of processing information. In addition, I identified their emotional driver as well. Though initially they were very apprehensive but they could really understand the processing ability of their brain and emotional drivers. I wished them luck and shared the email Ids to keep connected in the future.

Directive Communication - Day 5


After the impact I had on me of working with various colored brain processors and how one can act intelligently or in self destructive way, today was a journey where we needed completely disconnect with the brain color and understand the importance of the EMOTINAL being within us.

We started the day with understanding more about the Pyramid of Commitment. How Skills, attitude leads your way to self-actualization.

Circle of Communication resistance was one of the wonderful things which one can immediately start implementing. The concept of circle of Internal & External Rebellion is driven by your primary emotional drives & your core values.

The iceberg of perception, knowing the things we do and what we really want are not necessarily as they appear. To now the underlying emotions keep asking “Why” questions until you find your foundation reason and driving motivation for wanting it.

I was waiting to know and learn that there are 8 fundamental human drivers Belonging/Love, Security/Control, Diversity/Change, Recognition/Significance, Achievement, Challenge/Growth, Excellence, Responsibility/Contribution was the best learning of the day.

It was so very fulfilling at the end of the day when we knew our 3 primary emotional drivers and how it impacts our everyday interaction and other things around us.

Knowing my own primary drivers and how is impacting my near and dear ones was so very profound.
When someone is deprived emotionally of his emotional needs what happens? You are being need sucked. It is an emotional defence of your brain. This causes Poor Performance.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Directive Communication - Day 4

I am writing the day 4 blog almost after a delay of one day.

The reason is I had to go back to the land of solitude and spend some time with my own self. Today was a journey of self-discovery.

After gaining insights on various colour brain processors today I realized that it is so very essential to have the right composition in a team. I also could understand how things can reach a scenario where the productivity levels of the team can get impacted with an unusual composition of the team.

I had to go into the land of solitude to understand what I could do in a scenario where I can read the colour brain processors of people around me. The most important thing I could learn is to increase my level of tolerance and gain more understanding of my own Colour brain processor.

I realized the challenges which each brain processor can face and how one can easily connect and with others once he gains mastery on brain colour processors.

I am excited and eagerly waiting to know how emotional drivers play significant role in our lives.


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Directive Communication - Day 3


We all want a colourful life don’t we?
Wow!! Life is actually so colourful and simplified when we understand the CBC (Colour Brain Communication).
We all are chasing the treasure in the external world with our coloured brain processor and get amused when others can’t see the things which you can see.  Once I understand how my processor works and why I react in a certain way, the world around me becomes so simplified. It is an icing on the cake when I also know the various other processors exist around me and their nature of processing the information around us. WOW! Doesn’t that add colours to your life? It certainly does.
Once we overcome the Colour brain syndrome, life certainly becomes simplified.
There are four wonderful colours which explain our genetic processing of information. Red, Green, Blue, and Purple. The Colored Brain Communication Inventory (CBCI) helps you to know and understand the coloured brain processor each of us has.

Red Brain is a linear processor. Clarity in purpose and direction is important, well-structured and good at long term perspective.

Green Brain is a chaotic processor. It can see big picture, nothing is connected and achieves clarity through action.

Blue Brain is an intuitive processor. Everything is connected through sensitivity, multi-tasking, ability to organize, empathetic and people centric.

Purple Brain is a relational processor. Data is the king. Needs lots of information to get clarity, detailed, creates system and difficult to delegate, slow to take action.

CBCI adds colours to your life!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Directive Communication - Day 2


Directive Communication – Day 2

Take key away for the day:

1)      RAS – Your FOCUS - a tool towards fulfilment in our lives

2)      When you BLAME you create a FLAME in the relationship/ in the environment around you

3)      NO BLAME ZONE!

4)      Encoded Assumptions – Rules of Engagement

Let me ask you a very simple question, how many times do we blame the environment around us to be a major player for everything that is happening in our lives? Almost every time.

I have seen many close friends/ relations falling apart when they got into the BLAME game.

“It was he who started it!”

“It was never me, he just cannot understand”

Even before you realize, this BLAME is a FLAME which and spreading around you and makes the environment unpleasant.

Our reality is based on what I am focusing on – My RAS determines what I really want to focus and perceive about things around me and that becomes my reality which affects how I treat others. How I treat them will affect their behaviour with you. To make it simple, I hold the remote control and play the news which I perceive is the most important news of the hour. Others act like the DUMB Television box with NO intelligence and respond to the trigger button.

We need to be aware on what is my RAS doing to me. Is it helping me create the environment I am craving for or is it distancing me from it. The answer is within each one of us.

No Blame Zone! Act The Hero’s Way i.e., acting intelligently and start focusing on the solutions.

Our encoded assumptions – our perceptions create limitation and being open minded to how perceptions of others differ from our own can widen our own experiences and provide limitless possibilities for growth and discovery.

Also to act intelligently – it is important to understand the cognitive brain (Intelligence centre), limbic brain (Emotional Centre) and the reptilian brain (reactive centre).

The reptilian brain is the lizard brain which stops you from being intelligent.  We all need to act from our cognitive brain i.e, my intelligent brain and become more evolved.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Directive Communcation - Day 1


I have noticed in the past few years that many around us have started using a very similar language. A language filled with statements as, I am unable to lead successful life coz.., I want to do this but the people around me do not allow me to.., I am unable to perform coz of the circumstances around me…, and many more. And the fact is that THERE are increasing numbers of people around us who are using similar statements and are living an unfulfilled life.

A life which is seeking answers to many questions. A life filled with questions, worries, doubts, guilt,blame and much more.

Where do we head from here? Do we have a solution to these set of questions?

Yes, we do!


Day 1 of Directive Communication:

The life time journey started with a bang! After 3 months of wait finally DC – TTT is here. Wonderful day and amazing people, great amount of learning! 

We started talking about each other using CBC (Colour Brain Communication) Cards. One of the first tools we learnt in DC, it immediately became my favourite. A very powerful tool, I used it rest of the day in many different ways.

It was very interesting to know how DC Psychology was born and the journey of Arthur F Carmazzi, who is ranked as one of the World’s top 10 leadership gurus.

Then it was Rama (The Hero), Jack (The Villain) and Mary (The Observer) who are now our companions for rest of the DC journey.

The definitions & assumptions of DC are just amazing to become more aware about your own self, your environment and your own world.

“The four insanities” steal the show on the first day of DC:

1)      Common sense is Obvious

2)      If you can do it, others should be able to

3)      People should be fair

4)      Truth is universal

Colonel Aalok’s was amazing. He has stumped me with the amazing amount of energy and his magnetic persona. He has been an amazing person with wonderful ability to understand people and environment around him.

In addition, the other DC family members Rakhi, Anshul, Rishi, Ajit, Rajoo all have made our day 1 more eventful and made me more inquisitive for DC – day 2.




Saturday, June 16, 2012

People, Power & Politics


People, Power & Politics:

People are the DNA of any organization. People build organization and its culture. When people come together to fulfill their need to socialize, politicking is bound happen.., be it our personal lives or professional lives. However, the degree of politics may vary. In a diverse workforce, it is difficult to predict the dynamics of any group. Every individual in a group affects the rest of the members in the group to form a unique culture. People and politicking in organization define its culture and this organization culture has significant effect on its bottom line.

The secret lies in The Equation which is pretty simple:

This is just one side of the coin.

On the other side leaders in the organization have powers, power to influence their people. Most leaders have great ability to transform their people to achieve their vision. They can organize their powers to attain greater goals and create an exceptional organization.

The strong interplay between Powers, People & Politics set tone for the organization success and its bottom line.

Politics is inevitable. People use their power attained through formal hierarchy and get involved in politics. Others use their ability to influence to get their way and participate in politics. Conflicting goals of individuals, teams and organization is another prevalent reason for politics in organization. 

Is Politics Bad? No, it is a significant part of every organization.

  
Team
Mid Level
Senior Level
Team
Dog Eat Dog/Win-Win
Power Play / Influence
Power Play / Influence
Mid Level
Power Play / Influence
Dog Eat Dog/Win-Win
Power Play / Influence
Senior Level
Power Play / Influence
Power Play / Influence
Dog Eat Dog/Win-Win

Dog Eat Dog:   Everyone wants to win over others (unhealthy politicking)
Power Play:     Taking advantage of the power attained through Hierarchy or majority (unhealthy politicking)
Win-Win:         Everyone wins & focuses on growing together (healthy politicking)
Influence:       Using power hierarchical or non-hierarchical positively – (healthy Politicking)


As there are two significant contributors to organizational politics – it’s People & Power, It would be easier to cope with politics if we focus on these two elements:

Power:

Politics in the organization will take a back seat when leaders start engaging and influencing their teams to attain higher collective goals.

Ø  Leaders must focus on synergy

Ø  Leaders must take time to measure organizational climate and take corrective measures proactively

Ø  Leaders must be aware of the power centers prevailing in the organization

Ø  Leaders must cascade their vision to the team hence aligning them with his vision

Leaders must be aware that unproductive & disengaged people might be a result of unhealthy politicking. Leaders must invest time in their people and, like any other investment, hope for good returns.

People:

Ø  People must be observant of their behavior and behaviors of others around.

Ø  People must focus on cultivating positive work culture

Ø  People must build stronger relationships and foster mutual trust and respect in teams

Ø  People must discourage un-healthy politicking by avoiding to participate in gossips, rumors or passing of any judgments

Ø  People must nurture the behaviors of young people in the team

Ø  People must promote healthy competition and think Win-Win than “Dog-eat-Dog”

Ø  People must not take anything personal –  while voicing your opinions do it intelligently and assertively



People inherently have the potential to achieve the results they want. Nothing can be more commendable when leaders tap this potential to build greater organizations.

Great people make great workplace and great leaders with great people make world-class organizations.


Saturday, February 18, 2012

It's all about Perception!


It’s her turn now. The wait for her was long. It was the longest day of her life and here came the announcement Contestant number 43212.


She walks on to the stage of Britain’s got Talent Season 3, not very beautifully dressed neither worried about the fact that she is about to face the most critical judges of the show nor really anxious about being watched across the globe.

Here she is, facing a large hall full of audience, most of them half of her age.

One of the judge asked: “What’s your name lady?”

“Susan Boyle” came the response.

Judge: “Where are you from?”

She fumbles and fumbles again before she could complete her response, you could hear the audience booing and judges nodding their head in despair.

The next judge asks, “How old are you?”

“I am 47” she said. After a long pause filled with booing and laughing sound of audience she says “that’s just one side of it” which raised the eyebrows of the judges and others in the hall.

She said “I am trying to be a professional singer and want to be as successful as Elaine Paige” (*Elaine Paige is an English singer and actress best known for her work in musical theatre)

The judges smiled and she was almost ridiculed by the audience. Everyone had built a perception based on Susan’s plain homely appearance and contrasting high aspirations.

Fighting all odds was Susan. Very few knew that she was diagnosed of having learning difficulties. Susan had a difficult childhood and was bullied as a child and was nicknamed "Susie Simple" at school.

Susan’s first performance "I Dreamed a Dream" was widely reported and millions of people viewed the video on YouTube. Elaine Paige (Susan’s role model) called her "a role model for everyone who has a dream".

REST IS HISTORY!!

She became one of the most famous singers ever. Her journey to stardom started only at the age of 47 and it is still on. The wait was really long.

Susan after her success says “Modern society is too quick to judge people on their appearances. [...] There is not much you can do about it; it is the way they think; it is the way they are. But maybe this could teach them a lesson, or set an example.”

She also says “I know what they were thinking, but why should it matter as long as I can sing?”.

*****

Well, we all create perceptions about others around us. The minute we see them, the moment we interact with them and surprisingly most of the times even without knowing them.

One question which keeps haunting me and remains unanswered is who has to be blamed for this? Is it you, me or the society you and me have created?

I am reminded of a friend who would pass snappy comments on everyone around without knowing or understanding. His comments would immediately grab others attention and many a times would compel others to think and make judgments based on his comments. This I call it as Virus spread by him, which soon infects others. Some prefer to overlook the snappy comments to remain uninfected and many remain judgmental. It is important for us to stay away from such viruses.

It’s very difficult to highlight one reason which influences the perception ability of an individual.

If the question is, is there a right way or a wrong way to perceive? The answer would again be an individual’s perception.

I recollect another incident shared by a friend, couple of weeks back. As per her, she always had a very keen observational skill, she was always appreciated and was told that the kind of “Eye to detail” she holds is very rare. However, sooner she realized that people started distancing her coz she would identify the corrections needed in the documents, processes, reports, etc.., and named her as “fault finder”. She was really furious and was confused as to what was real.

The question she had was “What was real?”

There is no such thing as reality unless it is backed up with data points, otherwise it is only ‘your’ version which essentially is your perception. In her case both can be true and both can be false as well.

In my opinion, before building any perception we need the Knowledge and be observant about our own self-concept which according to me influences our ability to perceive any situation.

Knowledge – the amount of knowledge we have of someone may change the way we perceive his or her behaviors, (if you know that your friend is stressed out over family problems you might overlook her snappy comments)

Self- concept – the way we see ourselves influences the way that we perceive others, (if someone has a negative self-image they may perceive another person’s messages negatively)

We are limiting our experience with others or limiting their experience with us. Perceptions are necessary in order to define those that we know in relation to us. We must refresh perceptions.

We all approach the world with our own set of perceptions shaped by who we are and who we have been. Being tolerant and open minded to how perceptions of others differ from our own can widen our own experiences and perceptions and provide limitless possibilities for growth and discovery.

--Ability or Disability is also a matter of perception.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Choices In Life...

A few of months back, I had returned to Hyderabad on a late night flight. After reaching the airport, I found the taxi stand to be unusually deserted and later got to know that most of the Taxi Drivers were part of an ongoing strike.

I waited for a while with a hope that I might find a taxi. My hope started fading with no site of a single taxi for almost 30 minutes.

I decided to call my friends and then I heard a husky voice from behind “where do you want to go?”


A well built man in his 40’s walked up to me smiling and said, “Sir, there is an on-going strike and you will not find any taxi here.” I was a little perplexed about his approach but I found something very curious about him and even before I could think and say something, he said “my taxi is parked at some distance” and extended his card. It read Mr. Rama Rao (MA – English) with his contact details and the details of the cab service provider. We spoke for a while and he agreed to drop me at my destination.


This few minutes of interaction, his unusual style and world class English stumped me with a lot of questions.

I have heard of taxi drivers who take advantage of the airport distance from the city and of the late night travelers. I have also heard of the modus operandi used by taxi drivers of being very polite and using extraordinary communication skills to loot their customers.

I had a choice to make – trust him and reach home or wait for someone to pick me up. I was doubtful but still I chose the first option..

Am I going to regret this forever?

The next 45 minutes were going to be one of the interesting minutes of my life.

As we started heading towards the destination, Mr. Rama Rao tried to initiate the conversation and made general enquiries. I tried to stay away from the conversation but my curiosity towards Mr. Rama Rao did not let me remain quiet for long.

I asked him: “So you hold a Master’s Degree in English?”

Mr. Rama Rao: “Yes, I completed it when I was in Jail”

There was silence. I asked myself again “am I going to regret this forever?”

Mr. Rama Rao: “I was convicted of a murder and was in jail for 5 years”

There was a longer silence this time.

Mr. Rama Rao: “It happened when there were riots in Hyderabad and it was in the same riots that I lost my family. I was jailed for 5 years. I was 20 and passionate about my studies.”

I asked: “…. And then , what happened?”

Mr. Rama Rao smiled and said: “I just remained positive and finished my studies while I was in the jail”

I asked him: “So, what happened after that and why did you kill others?”

Mr. Rama Rao replied with a smile: “I did not.”

I: “WHAT!”

And then there was a silence again..

I asked: “Weren’t you scared?” Mr. Rama Rao smiled at me and said “When I was a kid, my mother told me that each morning when I wake up, I have a choice. I can choose to be good or I can choose to be bad. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaint or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life”

“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy, when you have circumstances or people around you. Look at you, your were jailed for NO reason! ” I protested.

Mr. Rama Rao smiled and said “I never believed when my mother told me this every morning and thought that in life, a lot of things happen to you along the way. The truth is, in life, you happen to a lot of things along the way. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”

“A lot of us have made great choices in our lives and many a times we also might have made choices on behalf of our loved ones and then realize when it’s too late. At times these wrong choices are made due to ignorance and many a times it is to boost our own ego. Later, we start complaining about the circumstances or blame people around for influencing our choices.” said Mr. Rama Rao. “When I was in the jail, I only remembered the words my mother spoke to me and today I live not in the jail but with a wonderful a wonderful family.”

There was a silence until I reached my destination.

Following were the final words which Mr. Rama Rao spoke: “Our choices will become easier when our will to please god outweighs our will to please the world”

Today when I sit back and think, I wonder how we always have a choice about how to handle life’s worst moments. Many a times we are caught in a mid-way and then we have a choice to chose from an easy path which is short well kept, with flowery plants and bushes on both sides, easy to negotiate, but ending up in a blank wall. The other might be a long, at times complex and bumpy, and many a times difficult to negotiate, but ending up in a vast orchard of fruit-bearing trees and beautiful flowers.

It’s the choice which you make that determines what you end up with.

- Sharat Sharma

The end result of your life here on earth will always be the sum total of the choices you made while you were here.